Truth Revealed! What We Want for Father’s Day!

June 19, 2009 at 7:02 pm Leave a comment

I’m going for the sales-inducing cover blurb effect that works so well for women’s magazines. I’m giving away the secrets to Dads and our Real Desires!

Yeah, like we’re really hard to figure out. Feed us. Let us play. We’re pretty happy.

But Father’s Day stumps many – women, children, siblings, pets. Here’s the deal.

    First, what we do NOT want.

1. We do NOT want a Father’s Day card purchased at a book store, card store or other. Women love cards – getting them and giving them. We understand that, and we participate willingly on many of the proper occasions. But – please – do not buy a Father’s Day card. Oh, we know you’ll do it anyway, and we’ll enjoy it – if not completely honestly. The Father’s Day card purchase is not only unnecessary, but it perpetuates the self-important card-giving “holidays” like – well – Father’s Day, Valentine’s Day (that could get me in trouble) and others.

2. We do NOT want a necktie, golf shirt, sandals, or a coffee table book about muscle cars. We do NOT want a new belt, wallet, iTunes gift card or the James Bond DVD collection with extended history of Bond Girls. And, please, no socks or underwear.

    What DO we want? I’m glad you asked.

1. We DO want any Father’s Day card you actually made yourself. Colored with crayolas. Sketched in pencil. Even scribbled Sunday morning with the nearest Sharpie. We will absolutely love a handmade Father’s Day card. It’s a guarantee. Fathers with jobs will proudly display them on their desks at work.

2. We DO want to spend time with the family. All of the family that can get together. We want to watch our son’s play basketball, our daughter’s dance – or vice versa. We get special thrills over the accomplishments and talents of our children.

3. We DO want to eat. A big breakfast of eggs and bacon – the more bacon, the better. Barbecues also work incredibly well for Father’s Day. And we don’t even mind cooking. Extra special bonus gratitude if we can enjoy a great cut of steak – cooked rare! And do I sound greedy if I can ask for a good bottle of California Cabernet to go with that? Hey, it’s Father’s Day.

Don’t make a fuss. Don’t spend a bunch of money (except for that wine). Do help us enjoy the family we love and admire. I certainly wish I could spend the day with my Dad. We’ll talk on the phone, and that will have to suffice for now. Happy Father’s Day Dad. I love you.

Now, can we look forward to Christmas? Because here’s what I need …


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